Lived Experience Forum

[OakSeptic]

Small update. Thoughts have been getting really bad. Been on the phone to Lifeline twice this morning. Both times it has been suggested that I go to the ER, I think it might be the best choice. With family right now. Still have yet to eat anything.

[cloudcore]

Hey @OakSeptic ,

I can see how hard this morning has been, those thoughts can be so overwhelming and scary. I know when I experienced them myself it was hard to get myself the support that I needed, I'm wondering if your family would be able to help you to the ER?

from cloudcore

[OakSeptic]

I made it to the er. I'm writing this from my phone. Don't really know whats going to happen from here, I just feel really alone. Probably in the safest place I could be right now. Thank you for the well wishes, I'm sorry if I worried anyone.

[Former-Member]

Hi @OakSeptic, thank you for updating us  No doubt its a really intense and uncertain time, but we're here with you. Sending much support  💐

[Paperdaisy]

@OakSeptic These thoughts are something I can relate to after watching my Dad pass away and I really empathise with your situation. I don’t have the answers, but I want you to know you’re not alone and I think you’re really strong for reaching out here. When I’m anxious I can latch onto anything that’s upset me in the past and spiral. I find nourishing food and exercise are two things that help me break out of it.

It sounds like you have good support and you’re making the right choices towards getting the help you need. Please take care and stay strong.

Paperdaisy 💝

[wellwellwellnez]

Thanks for not starting arguements and yes, spirituality has its burdens but it does aid with the grieving process. I think you're going through a version of depression to acceptance. Which can be a pretty tricky one for all of us.

When you're a spiritualist it's about transitioning from relating to the impermanent to the eternal version of that person. One way or another, i feel that is what we all go through. In a weird way, when we see how small our moments are, they magically become bigger.

Thanks for sharing the memory of your father with us. I feel touched and enriched by knowing you both.

[OakSeptic]

It's been a long day.

I spent two hours in the waiting room of the emergency department. Had to be alone due to restrictions. I had to call lifeline again while I was waiting after having to ask the reception to cut my id wristband so the edges weren't so sharp. Took a while but eventually I got a bed. They gave me something that made me drowsy and let me doze for an hour until a psychiatrist woke me up to speak to me. He took some notes while we spoke and I I think he's going to send them through to my new psychiatrist before my appointment tomorrow. I failed to eat anything more than a sandwich while there and was discharged after five hours. It was only once I got home that I broke down sobbing in my father's arms. He's since left for work, and I got through dinner with minimal nausea after nearly a full day of no food.

I'm in my bedroom now, physically and emotionally drained. I don't know if the tablet I took in the hospital is still in my system but I'm absolutely exhausted. I think I'm going to get an early night and hope tomorrow is a better day.

Thank you for the replies and concern @Former-Member, @Paperdaisy, @wellwellwellnez. I hope everyone else's days went better than mine did.

[Paperdaisy]

@OakSeptic ED is exhausting. You're very brave and it sounds like you have a good support network. I hope you feel better after some rest and can begin to work through things.