Wives caring for Husbands

[Tootsy]

@Healandlove @Shaz51 @tyme bit of a struggle tonight, hubs having a bad day and I got the ‘I need a carer that will look after me’ after I got home from work. I explained if I didn’t work then rent & bills wouldn’t be paid (isn’t that being a carer?) some days I’m just at a loss. I don’t know what to expect when I get home and that’s not good for my anxiety! Am I being selfish when everything needs to be about them? I’m getting bad headaches from the stress but I soldier on the best I can. Thanks for the vent x 

[Healandlove]

Evening @Shaz51 my friend. I'm OK but feeling very exhausted.  My iron levels are horrible and I will get an iron infusion on Monday. Husband is very stressed with work but dealing ok. Tomorrow we have couple therapy and I always feel so drained afterwards. Also going to the dentist in the afternoon so full on day. 

How are you and Mr Shaz today? Are the flu symptoms better?

@@Tootsy , how are you? Hope you are OK.

❤️❤️❤️

[Shaz51]

Ohh sending you lots of understanding hugs my friend @Tootsy 

No you are not being selfish and not knowing what our husband's will be like when we get home is very stressful 

Hoping you can do something for you tonight but I know this is very hard -- I know xxx

[Shaz51]

Will be thinking of you lots tomorrow 💕 @Healandlove 

You both could be feeling a bit anxious about tomorrow's meeting and the dentist too 

We are still not good , going to see the doctor again on Friday 

Iron -- I have too much ferritine iron in my body , iron overload 

[Tootsy]

Hi @Healandlove @Shaz51  thank you for listening, I really struggle some days but do my best to hide it. I only have one friend that I confide in and can’t always catch up with her. I was in touch with a carers support person last week and she was going to send me through links for more support but she hasn’t as yet. Tomorrow hubs will be sorry I know but it doesn’t help me tonight when I need to get sleep ready to face it all again tomorrow..it’s a viscous circle 

[Healandlove]

Thank you @Shaz51 🙏🏻. These sessions are always hard. And we ate both constantly exhausted from work, kids, cptsd, stress, anxiety etc.

I hope we can get to a place where we are better and my husband can communicate better and more openly. 

I noted @@PinkFlamingo is not around anymore..do you know why? Did she leave the forum?

Having too much iron can also cause problems. It's all about balance, isn't it...ughh

I'm sorry you are both still unwell.  Hopefully the trip to the doctors provides some relief and progress. 

Thank you for being here ❤️🫂

[Healandlove]

Oh @Tootsy , sending you love and hugs of support. You are a wonderful person and doing the very best you can looking after yourself and your husband.  You are not selfish at all. How can us support people be able to be there for our loved ones in need if we are not looking after ourselves? You must absolutely look after yourself.  I know it's easier said than done but please find the time every day to be with just you and do something for you. Are you receiving therapy for tools on how to look after yourself specially during challenging days?

I understand completely what you are going through.

Here for you lovely friend 🧡 🫂 

[Shaz51]

morning @Healandlove , @Tootsy 

I am thinking of you both lots today 

Yes @pinkflamingo has left the forum, I hope she does come back but I myself have a feeling she won`t 

hope she continues with her studies to be a Peer support worker because she is very good 

All the Peer support workers (PSW ) have finished their time here at SANE but a lot are staying 

@Ru-bee , @tyme , @Jynx , @Ainjoule 😊

I am a carrier of iron overload but some of my cousins have to give blood every 3 months because of it 

I can not give blood due to my health problems

all My husband`s supports have all finished again until there is another crisis , not liking to go through this all again but there is nothing I can do until !!!!!!

is getting puffed out too quickly , not sure if it is just from the flu he has got 3 weeks now 

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 , thank you for thinking of me.

Our couple therapy went smoothly with action items for my husband to discuss with his own therapist. For me, it felt good to be opened about the kind of therapy I am having with him and our couple psychologist.  EMDR to help me with grief, loss of family due to estrangement and anxiety due to my husband's cptsd and I guess generalised anxiety.  Being opened in itself helps with my anxiety.  

I'm sorry to hear PinkFlamingo left the forum. I hope it was because she didn't have the time and not any form of trigger. I do hope she comes back and that she absolutely continues with her studies.

I'm at the dentist now waiting for my turn.

Wow, I didn't know that with excess iron you have to donate blood. Makes sense. I used to donate blood and then due to my anaemia I was recommended not to do it anymore.

What do you mean Mr Shaz's support have finished? His mental health support? Why?

Has he been given antibiotics? Is he asthmatic? I really hope he feels better soon ❤️‍🩹.

@Tootsy , hoping today is better.

🫂 to you both xx

[tyme]

Hey @Healandlove @Tootsy @zipper ,

Passing through and hope you are all okay.