Good Morning!

[Meowmy]

@saturnzoon Hey. Hope you enjoy crotchety and the shows. It is hard to find suitable friends in life. It is easier when younger because we are surrounded with people similar to us at school, Uni or work. As we get older, it is harder because of our unique journeys. Mostly family members stuck together along the long journey. But it would be good to join or host activities with other people. It would make us feel more connected .

[Appleblossom]

I am good but also sad about the fires burning in NSW and Qld so early in the year. These are things that are govt related. Services need to be upgraded in the right way.

@eudemonism @Meowmy @Faith-and-Hope @MDT  and everyone passing by.

I hope you all have a good day.

For a long time @saturnzoon I wished for a friend for hot choc, but in the end I am learning to do self care.  Feeling used or given the flick by people I did have some hope in for friendship is very expensive in my self esteem.  Learning not to take rejection so personally.  Mostly people want things to be easy and to improve so there are mainly looking to get ahead for themselves.  Letting go of the making friends thing ... has helped me a lot ... I am settling for being treated with respect .... at least that is clearer and more essential ... as many people play a lot of games in friendships ... which i am sick and tired of.

[Appleblossom]

Hot chocs all round here (not just on the carers side, cos there is plenty of care over in lived experience)

[eudemonism]

@saturnzoon  yea I'm hearing with that one. I find the complications of socializing to hard to face . Plus with my addiction to smokes the way it is, i can't always keep myself supplied because of the costs, so I'm stopping and going according to circumstances. Bed rest is sometimes the best option .

[eudemonism]

@Appleblossom 

Do you have children?

[saturnzoon]

@eudemonism @Appleblossom @Meowmy @Faith-and-Hope @MDT 

 Have been trying to let it go making friends as well, being over 50 now and have never been able to make any, so i try not to think aboout it and accept that it's just not meant to be for my life, it can be very lonely, I need to try what you suggested Appleblossom self care. I need to see a psychologist but still haven't heard anything about my NDIS application yet.

[Meowmy]

@saturnzoon Hey, friends are hard work to maintain. Not many friends probably can relax. It’s good to feel there are people around us. But mainly, we have to self care.

[Shaz51]

love one @Appleblossom 

Hello and hugs @Meowmy , @saturnzoon , @eudemonism , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Appleblossom]

@saturnzoon I have only started to focus on self care in last few years. SO its new for me.  When I travelled in my 20s I got used to going to cafe for food on my own etc ... No matter how hard I tried the friendship thing was not going to be easy for me ... I did make it an focus for about 10 years, but mainly I learned how people twist and turn.  Maybe I needed that as a reality check. Maybe I had been a bit delusional about the possibility and nature of goodwill in humans.  

@Meowmy I am working less hard at it nowadays.

I am pulling grumpy ole lady status. 3 times I asserted myself with ladies who were typically a wall of words ....(None who would admit to MI issues) I said to a highly dominating posturing woman in choir this week that she was: "hilarious" when she was railroading me this week.  I could barely believe my cheek ... she and lady I was with heard it and so she said "your turn" for me to get a word in ... but by then I was just laughing at her rudeness ... and really no longer wanted to speak with her ... the other lady had always been respectful and friendly and she became amused by this woman showing her true colours. Now I realise that the reason I am often stuck for words in conversation ... is that I put up with huge egos who give me such a TINY window to speak ...that I am often in a mild state of shock ... and thats a large part of whats wrong with me ...

WIth another lady at the zoo ... who spouts a lot of racist rhetoric ... I said the same thing to her ..."Your hilarious"  but did it in a humouring way ... she revealed her true colours too ... and I did not even have to argue ... just let it be known what I stood for and got on with my job ... I dont want to collude with that sort of thing ... 

So best friends have not been a thing in my life ... I have been fairly prosocial ...had to be ... in difficult circumstances ... that seems the best I can manage... I have also had my eyes opened about the twisted and strange compromises people make to keep friends ... I am sick of having to stretch myself to far for them ... feeling they can do some more stretching for me ....nor do I think those with good friendships are better people ... maybe just better luck and timing ...

[eudemonism]

@Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Meowmy @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope 

Well, another early night for myself. Another night spent with my thoughts. Sleep is my only real refuge from the world out there. I think I need meds to  help me, but i would have problems with taking them on time everyday. I read they settle down the emotional reactions to everything and help one take things in their stride . Which is exactly what i need because I'm always getting worked up about my thoughts (things) It goes two ways anxious when thinking about what I'm faced with when trying to get on with life or thinking stuff it! And curling up into a ball of depression ... either or either condition always comes back ... but yea ultimately it doesn't change anything 😐