Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Any thing you want to talk about @Captain24 ?

[Captain24]

This reaction is totally not normal @tyme. I’m berating myself even more for feeling this way. 

I can’t process anything to talk. I just want to curl up in a big fat beached whale ball and just cry. 

Im heartbroken. 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , you may be even harder on yourself because you are telling yourself the reaction is not normal?

I wonder if what you are feeling is totally valid in considering how things have been for you lately?

I'm hearing how hard it is right now. 

I'm here if you want to talk about it. It's also okay if you don't want to. I just want you to know that I'm here.

Btw, Ruby had her first mini groom yesterday... she doesn't look so puppy-ish anymore.

[Captain24]

I’ve been on a wild roller coaster lately. @tyme. All the feelings gave that away but the anger one was bad and has happened a couple of times. I’m tired of having to pick up the dog toys after I throw them everywhere. 

Plus there is confusion over who or what I am or I’m not. I’m not comfortable at all about discussing that one. 

Thank you for being here for me. Will I ever get this life right? I thought I was getting there and then discovering that I’m still a really long way off even having a glimpse of recovery. 

That sounds cute. They do grow up fast. Jett can have a bath this week. It should be quick since they shaved a quarter of his hair off! 

[tyme]

Hey, aren't the dogs supposed to pick up the dog toys that are thrown? @Captain24 

Ruby is still pooing and weeing everywhere.

The groomer did this sort of poodle 'fringe' cut that takes her puppy face away. Oh well. I'm still not a fan of her so I'm staying my distance. I don't want to get attached.... funny how these emotions affect how you react, even if it's a dog!

Do you have a large yard for the dogs to run around?

As for talking about and discussing how you feel about yourself, feel free to share as little or as much as you want. There's no pressure at all.

[Captain24]

I’m struggling a fair bit today. I’m really not liking myself or my life. I have tried to do things to help. 

I have been down the street to pay bills that I’ve been putting off. 

I’ve done some diamond art. 

I’ve done a heap of Lego. 

I’ve had lunch. 

I’ve had music on. 

Im outta ideas. It’s too cold to do anything outside. All I’ve got left is to either go to bed (which will stuff up my sleep) or watch a movie. I’m having trouble with agitation and being irritable so focus will be an issue. 

I keep getting up and moving around. My cigarette cravings are through the roof. 

 

 

 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 today sounds like a hard one

Could you allow yourself to take breaks while watching the movie? Or when I'm struggling to focus I sometimes prefer to put on a tv series.

You're already doing so many positive things to get you through this day which is awesome. I hear they're not making the day into a good one, but it sounds like you are getting through it, and some days that's all we can do.

[tyme]

Not the best photo, but Ruby Rose lost her puppy face after her groom. @Captain24 . I’m not on until later, but one been wanting to send you this photo all day.

[Shaz51]

awwwww @tyme 

Ruby Rose is sooo adorable xx

[Captain24]

oooohhhh… she is so cute! @tyme. She does look like an adult dog. I love it when they leave the fluffy bit around their face. 

Thanks for popping in early!!