I can’t cope

[tyme]

I'm hearing you @Captain24 .

It brings back memories of times when things just hurt so much... as though my heart was bleeding with pain.

@Captain24 , please remember you are not alone. This dark cloud over you is a little stubborn at times and refuses to move, but this doesn't mean it won't.

Sitting with you hun.

[Captain24]

Just met my new GP. He said he would take me in as a patient. That’s a big thing here as doctors are in demand. Both medical centres have closed their books to new patients. If you have seen a doctor in 7 years you are not eligible for appointments. 

He is a bit scary but I guess I’ll get use to it. He isn’t sure of the monthly visits but will see how it goes. My GP is going to do a handover with him. 

Im suppose to be asleep right now but I can’t sleep. This depression is affecting my sleep. Usually I sleep too much but this time I can’t get to sleep. 

Oh how I hate my life. Maybe if I can get to sleep I will just stay sleeping. Then I wouldn’t have to face this world any longer. Oh to have it all over. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 

I'm glad you've gotten in with this new doctor, it sounds like that might've been a stroke a luck with how difficult it can be there! I do know that these changes aren't easy, and creating this new comfort and trust with a new GP takes time.

I'm really hearing how hard things feel right now, and I'm a bit worried about these thoughts of wanting life to be over. Are you feeling safe right now? Do you think calling a crisis line would be a good idea?