My special place

[rav3n]

 @Snowie i can imagine how tiring it must be to deal with so much at once. did writing that letter to email your psych helped you get those heavy feelings off your chest?

[Snowie]

@creative_writer you certainly have to be special to be able to work in supporting others with their mental health. It would certainly be hard.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie it’s a real skill to be able to work with others, therapy is hard work for both the client and therapist

[Snowie]

Didn't help as much as I would have liked it to @rav3n 

I don't normally read back what I've written in my journal, so this time it's a bit different.

I see her tomorrow morning.

Each day seems like a battle with myself. The want is just not there.

[Snowie]

It certainly is a skill @creative_writer and a very special skill too.

Even though your placement was hard and exhausting, I really hope you got some things out of it.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I did learn a lot from it, but it did highlight I still have a lot of healing to do.

It’s hard battling mental health day in and out. I hope you find healing in your appointment tomorrow morning 💖

[Snowie]

I don't think the healing ever ends @creative_writer We are always a work in progress.

It is hard dealing with it everyday, especially when things aren't going well

[rav3n]

oh i see, i don't normally read what i've written in my journal either. did you find reading it helped you process/understand yourself better? - it's still great that you gave it a go anyways, it's not easy being honest about ourselves so really proud of you doing this @Snowie hopefully tomorrow's psych appointment goes well.

is there anyone you can reach out to tonight? are you safe? 

i can see how exhausting this must be for you, your feelings are valid. don't forget to take things a small step at a time, and be patient and kind to yourself. you are only human after all, it's okay to take things slow, to take a break and recharge. even right now, taking some deep breathes and grounding yourself - we can do a quick grounding exercise if you'd like, totally up to you, no pressure. 

[Snowie]

It was weird reading back what I've written @rav3n I'm not sure I am a fan of it.

I know I would chicken out and not say those things out loud, but at the same time I think she needs to know where I stand at the moment and what I am experiencing lately.

I just hope it doesn't lead to an inpatient stay.

I'm safe for tonight. Hubby is home so that will keep me safe.

I did reach out earlier today when I was home alone. That helped until he got home.

I'm listening to a podcast at the moment on Spotify which is getting me to do a body scan. It is helping in trying at least to keep me calm.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie maybe, but I still have a lot of baggage, probably more so than the average person.

Sometimes things are a bit rougher, but I know you have what it takes to get through this, I know it’s hard. Sitting here with you 🫂💖