Oscillation between two mind sets

[creative_writer]

@tyme I know realistically I wouldn’t have been able to handle a placement during my first year because I was in a bad way. While my MH isn’t perfect right now, I’ve learnt more ways to manage. I never realised how even sensory overload by itself could trigger full blown migraines along with suicidal ideation. I used to be so confused why intense suicidal ideation would pop up and why I would feel like shit after going out. It turned out to be the fluorescent lights. I don’t like too much noise either, particularly construction, scrapping and repetitive beeping, Melbourne city is a nightmare. At least I’m out of the city for placement, and outside of the hospital environment which I prefer

[creative_writer]

I think my problems are too heavy for everyone. I rather suffer in silence

[creative_writer]

It feels so overwhelming. SA trauma, trauma of being shut down, trauma of being told I was the problem, trauma of never belonging

[creative_writer]

I don't think I've felt this low for a while. Maybe this illness is bringing up more emotions than I anticipated, I hate being stuck in bed, doing things distracts me and keeps my mind off things. My mind is on replay mode

[creative_writer]

I’m safe, don’t worry about me. Lately I’ve been feeling too much for everyone, so I feel like it’s best I left, even temporarily. I need to protect others from myself.

Goodbye for now