Lived Experience Forum

[Whyohwhy]

In my experience illegal drug use is self medicating prior to being diagnosed and prescribed specific meds for the mental health condition,

[BlueButterfly50]

I checked 9/9 for the symptoms and I hated my life as it was.  I wanted to be like non-BPDs, in control of my emotions.  I had a fantastic therapist who was more of a role-model.  She wasn't perfect and used to annoy me terribly but I liked how she was in control.  I went through all nine symptoms and really did the hard work on taking responsibility for my mental illness and did not beat myself up (too much).  I stopped blaming other people, even when they were in the wrong, I would not take that on board, and moved on.  That took a lot of practice.  

You can see BPD as a curse or you can see it as a blessing.  Reframing your situation is a very personal one.  I learned what effect I was having on other people and even though I thought I was ok, others were telling me I was crossing their boundaries.  I read lots of books, articles, wrote a blog, wrote a journal and got a job in mental health five years ago based on my lived experience.  I still stuff up, but my day is smooth compared to five years ago when it was so up and down.  I did not recognise I was up and down adn people would say I was one person one day and another person the next and I was totallyunaware of this, so I started to seriously monitor my behaviour and responses.

You are not to blame for your BPD but you have to take responsibility for your recovery which is individual.  

[PeppiPatty]

@Raven
I'm looking forward to seeing more of you on the forums.
Very interesting what you write in that you said it like it is to your GP. you probably don't need fixing unless your like me with three legs and hands shaped like blocks.
I also take on BPD when under extreme stress. But I force myself to get out there.

[PeppiPatty]

@BlueButterfly50
I love what you've written. In last blog. Actually everything but ESP the last message.
:0)

[BlueButterfly50]

@Whyohwhy

When life is completely awful why would you not take drugs to make you feel normal.  People can have dreadful experiences and the memories of this cause all sorts of emoitonal problems.  People take drugs so they don't have to remeber those memories and to help them relax because otherwise you are always anxious and upset.  You can self-medicate with drugs, alcohol and food.  I've done all three and food is my biggest issue.  I self-medicate with food all the time, even now.,

[Shadow]

I am really interested in the Haven Project but was wondering how many clients recovered and stopped using the service. would clients use the service for the rest of their lives or is there a set amount of treatment time they used?

[Jacques]

yes i totally agree, my self soothing treatment is food, i had a traumatic event at christmas and have now put on 50kg in the past 6 months, i can't stop eating and i get regularly to the point of thowing up because i am so full.

[BlueButterfly50]

@PeppiPatty

Thank you for that lovely comment.  I love BPD.  It makes me firey and passionate and focussed on justice and truth.  I learned to channel my BPD into creativity.  It keeps me out of mischief.

Is that the psych central blogs.  I'll try and wrote more when I can.  I'll do one on the myths.  Such as 

BPD just comes out of the blue

BPD is a female disorder

People with BPD always self-harm and have suicide ideation

People fake their symptoms for attention or pain killers

People grow out of BPD as they get older

That we are manipulative

We have no empathy

We "split" people

that medication is the first choice for people with BPD

BPD is not a real mental illness

And so on.

[Whyohwhy]

Sonia my BPD partner is so narcissistic I wonder does he also have NPD - is it common for the two to exists side by side.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

oh my yes @-karma-

When I was diagnosed I spoke to friend (who happens to be my boss) about it, because I was terrified. I'd opened up to my GP about something I'd kept hidden for years (suicidal ideation), he'd sent me to a psychiatrist (talk to a stranger?!). 

She seemed fine, but since Feb I've ended up in a HR meeting (because I snapped at her). I then gave her heaps of info about BPD and SA as she'd said she would like to know more since she didn't know anything about BPD.

I've had HR meetings, emails back and forth stating that I am unfit for work, and more recently they've completely changes my duties around, and know I have to have fortnightly meetings with my boss and her boss. 

They keep telling me it's not related to my MI, and that they understand I have a MI and I'm getting help for it, but this seems really unhelpful. I'd go so far as to say this crap has made everything so much worse...