A long rave

[Angels333]

Hey @Zoe7  I  hope you're feeling better this evening after your appointment,  I read you were drained......

I think I might make some DBT skills palmcards to use when things are tough tomorrow.     I have a painting that I can work on too.    In the meantime it's lots of deep breaths. 

Good night @Zoe7  

Angels333 xxx

[Zoe7]

That all sounds really productive @Angels333 Goodluck with it all tomorrow. Sleep well Hon... goodnight 

[cutiepiekitty]

Hi @Bunniekins I made it! She seems ok. The time went so uick though. We have settled on $10 a time for now, but she said that we can put that lower if needed.  AND today I have sent a query to someone to ask for a price for taking some of my junk to the tip, so I think that is a move ahead too. When I was coming home the train staff said I looked at least 10 years oyounger coming home than going, so I guess I looked worse than I thought and it helped. Even though waiting for the train and nearly halfway home I just had music on headphones and just concentrated on the words of that to settle.

[Angels333]

Hi Ravers @cutiepiekitty @Zoe7 @Doglover @Bunniekins @eth @Owlunar @Adge @outlander @Appleblossom 

I'm really struggling today with SH thoughts, it's just constant.    I'm managing to keep distracting but the day is long, I can't wait to curl up and go back to bed tonight....

@Doglover  How are you going? What's the earliest re. Admission dates, do you have a date yet?  Have you confirmed that you're on the waiting list?  Sorry for the questions it's just that I've been thinking about you...

@cutiepiekitty I'm really glad for you that your psychologist  session went well.   How long until the next one?

Wishing everyone a great day today

Love Angels333 

[cutiepiekitty]

hI @Angels333 Next session in 2 weeks

[Owlunar]

Hi @Angels333 

I remember when my days felt like that - I would wake up and dread the day ahead and although I didn't have any SH or SI - luckily - I had to push my way through every inch of the day - so yes - I hear you

And I could hardly wait to go to bed too - it was the high point of my day - and yet even then I knew I would wake up to more of the same

What can I offer you - to tell you that things will improve - I guess you have to work through your stuff - so easy for me to say - so hard for you to do

Time - a lot of it - passed - and I gradually found a different life after a disaster - I would like to imagine that a different life is there for everyone when the storm is over - or maybe the old life is better - I can't tell

But long days of pain are something to dread I am sure - and at the end of it your bed and hopefully sleep.

Are all your days like this Angel? Did it all start or come back when something changed in your life? I do know how hard it can be.

Hearing you

Dec

[eth]

Hi @Zoe7 @Doglover @Meowmy @Maggie   thanks for the well wishes yesterday.  The reading I did went well - 2 shortish poems about 2 different events which I've had grief about.  That was the theme as it's grief awareness month in August.  But it got pretty heavy going at times with around 2 dozen people reading their writing on the topic.  Quiet a few of the readers got really choked up doing it (understandably) but all were really brave and kept going.  Then we gathered at a nearby cafe which was nice and a bit of debriefing.  I could only stay 15 min as my support worker had to finish for the day.  I'm sure I wasn't the only one had a bit of a cry before going to the cafe.  Even my support worker did.  

I have quite a few pages to catch up on here so Hi to everyone @Owlunar @cutiepiekitty @Angels333  and anyone else who's around tonight.  Not sure I'll respond to all tonight as I've been exhausted all afternoon since having a panic attack this morning. There was a guy wildly abusing everyone who walked past him - drunk or MH or both probably.  I freaked out but managed to cross the road before I got to where he was - but he still yelled abuse.  Racing heart, shaking hands - the whole shebang.   Saw my psychologist just after that happened and had a session with her about that sort of reaction, how I handled it, etc.  She described it as being 'flooded' (brain and body chemistry during panic) and that sounds spot on to me.  I've been wanting to find a different word than always saying 'triggered'.

Will catch up tomorrow morning probably. 

Have a quiet and restful night all.  Lots of people I should tag but I'm too tired.

[Angels333]

Hey @Owlunar  I think about 50% of my days are a struggle, so I do have my good days.    Today is a shocker, I acted out on my SH urges and feel very mentally unwell.    But tomorrow I could feel fine. 

I've been like this for 4 years now after some triggering EMDR therapy went horribly wrong.    I have borderline personality disorder PTSD and Major depression.     I just had a change of meds in hospital but the new one's obviously not working. 

Thanks for your understanding it really means so much and I hear your advice that it gets better as I've been through times of being well before.    I just have to get myself back there.     I should be using my DBT skills more....

[eth]

Hi @Appleblossom @outlander @MDT @Macca00 @Sans911 thanks for the tags.  Will get back to you tomorrow.  See above post for details.  Just passing through and realizing I'm too wiped out for this tonight.  Take care all.

[Angels333]

Sending hugs @eth (((💙💙💙)))

Love Angels333