Re: A Long Rave

She was cute and loveable but she turned aggressive around feeding times and towards our other smaller dog. We think it may have been a jealousy thing so we had to move her on our other one had a similar personality but without aggression pity they age 😞 @Exoplanet we have a chihuahua now shes 3 nearly 4

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Hi again all.  @Mazarita @outlander @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Teej and anyone else around.

@CheerBear sending you wishes for strength and patience today as you wait to hear how surgery for your ill one goes.  Sorry to hear things took a turn for the worse.  I also have delayed emotions that come out all at once quite often.  Hope today gets easier for you as it progresses.

@Exoplanet I love and echo your thoughtful words to @Mazarita.

Thinking of you today @Mazarita and hoping you're feeling a bit better by now and able to get your creative on today.

Hoping today goes better than expected for you @Teej with hosting the 21st.  Sounds like a hectic one for you.  Stay strong.  And that the after effects of the dream have worn off.  I know that feeling well.  Waking up feeling frantic and lots of emotions.  My psychologist asked me to make a note about the dreams I've been having but I haven't done it yet. Not sure why.

Your dream made me remember I used to have a t-shirt with one of those red-head models on it that said "Oh my god I left the baby on the bus!".

   

I'm just back from a traumatic time at the denture clinic.  I burst into tears when they started working in my mouth making the molds for new dentures.  Details of the DV that cost me the last of my own teeth came flooding up.  The nurse was really kind, telling me I was safe and that they were there to help me, but I have an emotional hangover from it now.  I think it was partly a delayed reaction from the EMDR session on Wednesday, when we focussed on that event.  My psychologist gave me her mobile number but I haven't used it.  I had a support worker with me and told her what was going on so after the ap't we went and sat at the beach for half an hour before coming home.  Might curl up in a ball for a while after posting this.

Sending love to all here and wishes for things to even out for those of you having a rough time.

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Yes, aging isn't an entirely pleasant process - & it's not just dogs that are affected by it 😉 I used to have Great Danes & I have experienced fear, particularly when they aged. But I always realized they were suffering pain of some kind, sometimes that pain was not obvious physical pain, but there are many types of pain. I do worry about my Amstaff, when he gets to that stage of life; but I guess I feel the love & laughter I share in his company is worth the risk for me Heart I believe I will accept, as I have done in the past, the different stages of my companions lives. That's not to say my experience is anything like yours, we are all different & have vastly different experiences. I have had to euthanize a canine companion, he would not stop ending lives & I could not have him live his entire life on the end of a chain. Dogs brains develop according to their experiences too & they are just as affected by them.

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Heart @eth  Being triggered with mouth open is so hard.Smiley Sad

Congrats for being a nanna.Smiley Happy

@Exoplanet Heart

@CheerBear Heart

@outlander Heart

@Mazarita Go easy on the number of deadlines you set. Knitting can be calming. With so much on something has to give. Still the video work and opportunity is terrific.

Gently Bently All

Today I have to go through ward file, got triggered yesterday and last week as could not find the page I needed to complete a redress form.  Each time I read it different memories and feeling totally flood me.  I will be glad when I can put it behind me.  At least I have a lady a counsellor on the phone talking me through it.

Take Care

 

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Thanks and hi @Appleblossom  I hope you're able to get through the file and find what you need today.  Good to hear you have support with it.  Sending you perseverance and success in obtaining redress.

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Good morning, everyone. The clear-minded dawn hour. Time to catch up on posts from yesterday.

@greenpea, you touched my heart saying you would tell me your stories that are unspoken on the forum, even in the space given by anonymity here. I wish I could be there with you to hear them too. Hugs.

@saturnzoon, I know how hard social anxiety can be. Keep trying to get to the shops, even if you don't make it all the way there for quite a while. If you keep trying, you will make it eventually. Every little step outside our comfort zone, expands our range of possibilities, and then you might find yourself going much further over time. Hugs to you too.

@CheerBear, hoping you've had some okay news about the turn your unwell person took yesterday, and that the day was not too wonky. I finally saw your image from yesterday morning. That calm space you have there looks so bright and beautiful. It's wonderful thinking of you in a lovely morning environment. 

@eth, so sorry you went through a revisiting of your terrible trauma at the denture clinic yesterday. Pleased to hear the nurse was kind and that your support worker was there to take you to the beach for some quiet time in nature afterwards. I know what you mean by emotional hangover. Curling up in a ball for a while sounds like a reasonable response to that. Hope you're feeling better this morning. Thanks too for your understanding about how extra high nerves and anxiety can create frozen states of being, and for reminding me that the process of the knitting was the main thing really. Glad to say the creative impetus has started kicking in with the video. I've been doing quite a lot to prepare for the hands-on process of making it, while still waiting for the soundtrack. 

@Exoplanet, I'm kind of glad you take a rest day from going places with the dogs every now and then, as you deserve some relax time just for you. Your words yesterday were balm to my heart and mind and I agree with others who were appreciating your big heart and way of seeing things. The past week has been a big swirl. As you guessed, and made clearer to me, I was in the process of suddenly changing my sense of life priorities. Video does have to take top spot for now, and I'm feeling more confident and 'in gear' with that at this point. I'm impressed by your system of only having a smoke once an hour. I've been smoking my head off during this stressful week. Might need to try your approach, seems like a good one.

@Teej, hope your big day yesterday went well and wasn't too exhausting. My strange and vivid dreams are continuing too, and my psychiatrist yesterday told me this is a known side effect of one of my meds. I wonder if we are taking the same anti-depressant. Some of the dreams I'm having are wonderful (repeated flying dreams), more of them a bit awful. I had one the other day in which I was publicly humiliated over stealing a packet of cigarette papers! Lol. I've also had ones, a bit like yours, in which I didn't know how to care for sick or neglected children. In one of them, a baby seemed to die in my arms. My friend, the psychic counsellor, believes these dreams are a way of processing a lot of stuff I've kept suppressed in various ways over quite some time. Like your psychologist, she thinks they are a good thing. Hugs for the bad feelings they can engender for some time after waking, something I'm finding familiar at the moment too.

@outlander, it's news to me that you have TAFE sorted. What is the course? I'm so proud of you for making it to further study. Hope your fussy aunt appreciates your latest efforts for the baby blanket. I think you are very tolerant to have been repeatedly trying to please her. I agree that if she's not into this one, she can go crochet one herself!

@Appleblossom, I hope you have been able to find the page for the redress form. It will be so good when you can put all these difficult processes behind you. Good to hear you had a counsellor on the phone helping you with the difficult emotions. A much more peaceful day to you today.

Yesterday I slept until about midday, avoiding the world. Then got myself showered and out the door, with C driving me to my psychiatrist appointment. As is often the case, I found the session with my psychiatrist very helpful and relieving. No change of meds unless I feel I am starting to go hypomanic. He has left that decision to me during this next four week period until I see him again. After that, we went to visit our friend. Then home to some prep work on the video, some chat with C during the evening, and in bed by about 10.30pm.

As is often the case, feeling good at this time of the day. It may not last over the day, but for now I'm enjoying it. Sending kind wishes to all for a peaceful start to the day. 

Heart

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Saw this yesterday, gave me a laugh about what some of us go through with our artistic pursuits. I go through all of them, except I usually stop just before the last one...

 

DowsO9TWwAIGMRI

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Morning everyone. 😊

I was writing a long rave to vent when your post came through @Mazarita. I won't post it as it has helped a lot just to write and to gather and organise jumbled thoughts.

The sun was rising an hour later according to the clocks than it has for the past months. It was nice to wake up at my usual early hour but have it read a later time. I've been enjoying the company of so many chatty birds of all kinds this morning and can feel the warmth of the day ahead starting to set in already. It's very peaceful 🙂

Person made it in and out of surgery yesterday and is back in ICU. When well one went to visit they were told it was a close call yesterday. The setback from this physically, mentally and emotionally could be pretty big. I'm going to try and leave it in yesterday as what it all meant felt overwhelming to sit with too long.

Really great to hear you found psych helpful and that feel goods are with you to start the day again. I think it's fab that you have the support of your psychiatrist to make adjustments to your medication as you think you need. You know yourself better than anyone and you seem to have an incredible awareness and ability to manage your medications.

Any plans you'd like to share for your day ahead? Hope however you spend it it's a good one for you 🧡

Sending a big hi to all. @outlander I'm hoping to sneak a coffee break over in the craft corner later and catch up properly on what you've been up to. @Teej really hoping yesterday was OK enough.

Hugs for all reading who'd like one ❤

 

*edit to add that your picture above gave me a good giggle. I can definitely relate! 😆

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@CheerBear, good to hear you were able to get out your long rave, just for yourself to clear you mind. It's amazing what words on the page can sometimes do in that way, clearing the mind, helping us feel more in control and able to cope with what at first seems impossible to deal with. There is a lot going on for you. Wise that you are leaving yesterday where it was. Hugs and kindest wishes that things work out for the best. 

Oh yes, daylight savings. Reminds me to be prepared to be living for some months in an alternate time zone to many others. May those peaceful feelings in your morning stretch out long into the day. Heart

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Morning @Mazarita@CheerBear@eth@Appleblossom@Exoplanet and all passing through.

 

i wanted to thank @Exoplanet for what you wrote yesterday. It helped me get through the day.

 

i was a crying drivelling mess driving to her house. I kept thinking that if it was anyone else I would have pulled out because it was just too overwhelming. I turned up and after 10mins i told my friend I didn’t know how I would go and that I was a mess. I broke down in tears (which I don’t usually do in front of her). I knew it couldn’t be about me though and she asked what would help and I said just give me a job to do. It helped stop the waterworks and panicky feelings. 

 

The rest of the day was ok. I stayed in the kitchen for much of it. I stayed until I could no longer walk and was in lots of heel pain but had managed to put all the food away and clean up for her. I have planter fasciitis at the moment :face_with_rolling_eyes:. I left feeling so pleased I made it through and helped my friend enjoy her sons birthday (it’s a large joyful family). @Exoplanet I got home and it all came out. I just wanted to die. I was totally suicidal with huge emotions but I remembered your post. I took pain killers and sleeping meds and knew I just need to sleep the night off and not think about it, which I managed. Today I’m not out of control.

 

feeling drowsy again and might get some more sleep before responding to the other things I wanted to here.