Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Tootsy]

@Shaz51 so many things, hubs hasn’t seeked help this year as I spoke to his physiologist too and now she hasn’t continued his appointments so I guess he didn’t discuss everything with her. I broke down at my mums and now he thinks he can’t see her ever again. It’s just snowballing. I just need to squint and he goes into a rant. He says there is 2 sides to everything which is true, I guess it’s my fault 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Tootsy]

Psychologist * @Shaz51 not physiologist

[tyme]

Hey @Tootsy ,

Sounds challenging. Please look after yourself. I know he says there's 2 sides to every story... can we say that there are 3 sides? yours, his and the truth? 

Please don't take it too hard on yourself.

We are here to support you.

[Tootsy]

@tyme thank you I needed to here that, I do take it personally and I know he can’t help it with his conditions, but as I’ve told him it breaks a bit of me every time…be it he thinks I am always attracted to someone else etc. I live in anxiety now, I don’t even dare to look at someone out of common courtesy and definitely won’t catch up with friends as he thinks there is an opportunity for me to stray. I have no one to turn to. Today was a better day though so I feel somewhat better and tomorrow I return to work after some time off. Thank you for hearing my vent x 

[tyme]

I hear how hard it is. As though your life is dictated by the insecurities of someone @Tootsy .

Do you talk to a professional about it? As much as partnership is about give-take, if it is wearing you out, I wonder if there are strategies you can use? e.g. respectfully challenging his beliefs?

My worry is that if you "dare not look at anyone", if may give further reason to believe you do want to? 

What do you think?

I may be totally wrong, hence feel free to take my thoughts with a grain of salt. I have no intention of offending anyone - just in case I do.

[Tootsy]

@tyme, no not this year have I talked to a professional. The last thing I would ever do is stray believe me, he has been hurt in the past so thinks it would happen again but not with me! I love my husband and that’s not me

[tyme]

That's wonderful to hear you are so supportive of your husband @Tootsy .

Please continue reaching out here. Simply knowing you are not alone in this can help.

I hear how hard it must have been for your husband to get hurt. I can see why he is carrying this hurt.

[Tootsy]

@tyme, I guess we’ve all been hurt in the past, me included..it’s hard to believe in people but I’m determined to get him through this

[tyme]

That's amazing. That's what will get you through @Tootsy 

We are having a Live Sunday Hangout which will start at 7pm AEST. You are welcome to join us if you are interested JOIN US! Live Sunday Hangout 7-8:30pm AEST 

[Shaz51]

I will be there too @tyme , @Tootsy , @Healandlove , @Krishna