Christian Chat

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Otta and @Appleblossom. I'll ring if needed but I had a good cry, and sleep and stuffing myself with iceblocks atm. It always passes. Just wanted some Christian input but maybe it's just too much for anyone really.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

I don't know why things happen as they do.

One thing I do know is that you do contribute positively. You have been a huge encouragement to me (and I am sure to others on the forum). Your words, the way you put in funny pictures to help bring a smile when tackling otherwise serious problems, your decluttering thread were things that contributed to my own healing following the mess I was in after Mr Darcy's mental health crisis. Gosh, even your vulnerability that lets others know that they are not alone. Can I gently encourage you that helping others on this forum is a gift that you have, you may not realise what a blessing you are. I was not surprised at all when you told us how much Georgia took to you, animals can sense things such as kind hearts and she could see that there was something about you that made you just the person she needed to be with.

The other thing that I know is that no matter what situation we are in, that God, in His mercy, continues to transform our hearts.  I can only tell you my story that with the resources I was able to access around the time of Mr Darcy's attempt, I was able to take my mind off the unfairness of life and and, with what I can only describe as a divine revelation of the grace of God, managed to change my focus that we could live well in spite of his diagnosis and start doing what I could do to best manage the situation. Step by step I began and continue to work on the areas in my life that I am all to aware need further attention. I know there are things in my past that I am not proud of either but these I cannot change and I have found that the best I could do was to learn from those experiences and not dwell on them.

Clearing the storage shed = no mean feat = yay! (News that is worthy of a mention the declutting thread )

Visiting your girl's grave = grief 

More positive interaction with your son = wonderful

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member, I guess there's some things good there. And I really admire you not walking away from Mr Darcy. I need to learn more about how my attempts affected everyone I think as we never did talk about it. Withdrawal doesnt help. I'd love to hear more about your "divine revelation of the grace of God" I guess I've had many moments the Lord has revealed things to me too (proof he maybe HASN'T left), it's just like waiting for the inevitable, but maybe, even if what i just what I contribute here is something, and prayer, maybe it's enough. Thanks. Haven't eaten vegies for couple days so some self care cooking probably needs to happen. Thanks Darcy 💜

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

I am glad you are seeing your son more and I hope he gradually grows more respect and develops a sense of regular contact and ongoing relationship with you.  It is hard when as women we are in position of loving and letting go, and if sons take that for granted too much, something must not gel preoperly with their inner sense of ethics or morality.

I had a good day with my son and he asked if it made up for forgetting Saturday.  In a way that is acknowledging and making reconciliation and of course I forgive him, but I also forgave his father far too much, and will never be sure if his father's snideness did not contribulte to my brothers death ... but that is not my son's business.  SO learning boundaries.

I cannot give much Christian support as I am still coming to term with the damage done from warped Christianity and Catholicism. I respect good Christian feeling and activity, and keep away from anything that may be just nice words ... though words and the way we use them makes a huge difference.

Your daughter's death is not your fault, in my understanding.  Often as mothers we wear guilt for every little thing, and maybe when big things happen we dont know what to do with it all and get into self whipping about it, then hoping God will tell us when we have suffered enough.  I think you have suffered enough, but that may not be enough for your whole being to feel consoled.  Grief is such a hard road.

Stay Safe.  You are great on the foums Bella.

I deliberately chose "apple" because of what I see as some of the gender bias, bigotry, game playing and/or confusions in Christianity.  In a way I took my RC upbringing more seriously than many priests, religious, organists, cantors etc ... so eventually became hyper analytical about it.

Fondly

Apple

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member  I just think coming to understand the true nature of God which is love and how that some of the concepts that I had held about Him were wrong. Taking responsibility for my own healing and attending to the plank in my own eye was necessary and having chosen to support Mr D I was intentional about doing this willingly and lovingly. At times I was conflicted about what this support should look like especially as he does have some cognitive deficits following his crisis/trauma.   As my stress levels began to drop as Mr D remained stable, I finally understood the concept of self care for both Mr Dr & I through the things that I had come across in the Christian support sites, the help of a mental health carer support worker, chatting with people here on the forum and the other resources I was able to access, it all began make sense. 

Despite being stable mentally, I still see Mr Darcy struggle with some aspects of life and I do try and encourage him in all areas of the 8 dimensions of wellness a resource I came across last year.  Only God knows how much time we have left together, but feel that I am in a much better position to be able to support him while he undergoes treatment for cancer but know that I am a much stronger person having lived through and learned from all that happened around his mental health crisis. 

@Appleblossom your words have been encouraging to me as well.

[Shaz51]

I don't know why things happen as they do. either @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Determined , @Emelia8 , @BlueBay , @Owlunar 

my mum is 89 and has been through sooo much over the last few years that she thinks God has forgotten her 

Only God knows how much time we have left together-- very true for all of us my @Former-Member 

Mr shaz is have a heart to heart talk with D1 , being here for all the family xx

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @Bow 

Praying for you my friend xxx 

How are you today 

[Bow]

Hi @Shaz51 

ive been in bed with a migraine all day

hows your day?

[Shaz51]

Ohhhh my @Bow 

I have had lots of them over the years xxx

Have you taken anything,  and have a cool washer on your head and resting  xx 

[Bow]

Yeah took a couple of different meds this morning, took the edge off it, but just have to ride it out I think. Never use to get them, they started a couple of years ago. Some are hormonal I think? Some related to my fibromyalgia.