How can we brighten our days with laughter? What are your jokes, thoughts, ideas?

[soul]

Can't bring myself to post a black humour pic @Former-Member but I'm glad you can see a funny side to it all. Here's something that might amuse you in any case.

[Determined]

Hi @Former-Member
Thinking of you and hope things are on the improve.

[Former-Member]

@Determined
Not a good day for Mr Darcy, he has settled watching the footy, hoping he will get good sleep tonight.
We press on, holding on to hope with defiance.

[Former-Member]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?


I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL CERTIFICATE, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN AT OUR SCHOOL SOME 50-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY- HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED THE SAME SCHOOL THAT I HAD.

'YES, YES I DID,’ HE SAID.

'WHAT YEAR DID YOU FINISH?' I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, ‘IN 1964. WHY DO YOU ASK?’

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THAT,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

GREY- HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

BLOKE ASKED ME...



'WHAT SUBJECT DID YOU TEACH?

[Determined]

Love it @Former-Member

Hows things for you tonight. You have been in my thoughts but never know quite what to say. 

[soul]

😆😆😆😆😆😆 @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

[Former-Member]

Home milk deliveries still happen in some areas we have been told, but the' older brigade’ will no doubt recall both milk and bread had regular home deliveries.




Enjoy, here is a collection of notes left in milk bottles....

** Dear milkman: I've just had a baby, please leave another one.

**Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

**Cancel one pint after the day after today.

** Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

** Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

**Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

**Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

** Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

**Sorry about yesterday's note, I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

**When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

**Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?

**My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

**Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

**Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

**Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

**From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.

**My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

**Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday..

**Milkman, please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS Don't leave any milk.

**No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Jimsbobby, @Former-Member,  @soul, @Determined 

[soul]

Got a joke for us @Shaz51?