I can’t cope

[Jynx]

Ahh @Captain24 that's cool that your car can tell when your eyes are closed! And I thought mine was high tech when it was able to warn me my tyre pressure was low! Wow. And yeah you're so right about how much our mood can be shifted or carried by some singing! 

Yeah totally, maintenance is important! And it warms me to know that you're seeing that far ahead, and seeing that goal in your mind - so incredible, the power of our minds hey. Yeah there's still much that's untapped or that didn't quite sink in, and sounds like you're excited to jump back in, soak up even more the second time around! And it will totally be easier to do so too because you won't have anywhere near as much anxiety or trepidation, won't have to spend as long settling in, which leaves more time and energy for the work 😁

[Captain24]

Nah it’s the work truck that does it @Jynx. Sorry, I may have forgotten that path. 

It’s definitely a change. A lot of the time I can now see a future. Only a little way ahead. But it’s something. I like to plan just incase I do make it further. I still don’t see myself making it to old age. I believe I will have ended it by then. But wanting to end my life currently isn’t always at the forefront of my mind. 

[Jynx]

Aye @Captain24 it can feel very odd to plan for a future you'd never thought you'd have! My friends and I sometimes joke about the fact that we're all living in our 'bonus era' cos we all have had SI in the past and gotten through it. The nice part is, now it kinda becomes part of the gratitude. As in, I'm just grateful to be here, to feel the warmth of the sun and see the green of the trees and listen to birdsong and ocean waves and thunderstorms, and that is a beautiful thing 😊 Even if you don't see yourself making it to old age, you're still seeing enough of a future to have something to strive for - which is such an amazing thing. So proud of you!

Alrighty, I'm off for the evening, hope you get to sing some sweet songs tonight! Chat to ya next time 💜 

[NatureLover]

Hey @Captain24 , I'm sorry you don't feel safe or heard with your psych 😢 Also that she doesn't work on one thing longer then a session. Do you feel able to tell her you'd like to work on something longer then a session? 

[Captain24]

Hey @NatureLover 

Im going to have to try. I think she means well but it just seems we are going nowhere. 

How are you going? 

[NatureLover]

Can you write it down for her? @Captain24 

I don't know, I am shocked and blown sideways by Eve7's news which I just read 😭

[Captain24]

I can try. @NatureLover. I see her again in 3 weeks. 

I know I’m shocked too. I’m worried about her

[NatureLover]

Mybe you are better at speaking, but I'm better at writing so I always write things down for my psych @Captain24 . 3 weeks...I hope your psych will allow herself to be influnced by your wishes 🤞

I know, I'm frightened for her...she was already unwell 😭

[Captain24]

I will write a list @NatureLover. I really want to work through the trauma. I know it’s going to be hard but I believe if I can pack it away everything else should follow through. 

That’s what I’m concerned about. She was really struggling. 

[Snowie]

Hi @Captain24 @NatureLover 

Wishing both of you a good day today hon, hoping it goes well 💜💜