@CheerBear 

I have had to work through relationship stuff from the paternal side. For a while there is was so tricky to have a relationship with them. Then medical things happened and suddenly they weren’t so invincible. With that invincibility came vulnerability and a calm acceptance of things that were previously unacceptable. I think from my perspective it helps to see them grow. It’s probably quite different for you but it came as a blessing for me. It also changed relationships again for the better for my boys. 

Having said that that I know that you are in the middle of very messy with having things forced in a time sensitive way. It has taken me a couple of years to come to this.